I bit the inside of my cheek hard, until the coppery taste of blood filled my mouth. Honestly, this is no punishment I deserve for hurting him like this. But I was doing this for him-I can't let him go through the same pain as them... no. I can't hurt anyone anymore, especially not him. He shouldn't suffer because of me. I can't let history repeat itself. Not this time. Not ever.

After I had promised him my loyalty, he hadn't said a word. I knew he must be hurting; he had frozen in the same spot, as if time itself had stopped around him. I reached out my hand toward him, but pulled it back instantly. I can't hurt him more than I already have.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, he opened his mouth to speak. But the cab arrived, cutting our fragile moment short. Our conversation hung unfinished, like a dagger lodged between us. The silence stretched uncomfortably the entire way back to Delhi, heavy and suffocating.

It was around 11:30 pm when we reached the Singhania Mansion. The next morning, when I woke up, I noticed him lying at a distance on the bed beside me. Not like the other days-it was different. I hadn't woken up curled in his arms, and he wasn't the same Ansh. He was hurt. And it was because of me.

After a brief moment, I slowly slipped out of bed, careful not to disturb him. I got ready for the day, my mind still tangled in the memories of yesterday. Downstairs, I made my way toward the kitchen, greeting everyone with a small, practiced smile that barely masked the whirlwind inside me. As usual, I helped Maa and Chachi Maa with the chores, setting the table carefully, almost mechanically.

Soon, he came downstairs too, wearing the same clothes I had chosen for him. We had breakfast in silence, and when he tried to make eye contact, I avoided it, as if acknowledging him would make everything worse.

After breakfast, I left for the hospital. Today, I didn't go with him. I knew he had a lot of questions bottled up, and he would have asked them-but I wasn't ready. Not now. Not yet.

At the hospital, I tried to immerse myself in work, forcing my mind to abandon the lingering thoughts. By lunch break, I found myself in the cafeteria, my thoughts stubbornly crawling back like unwelcome shadows.

"Hi, Shree..." Sakshi's voice, cracked and slightly hesitant, pulled me out of my reverie.

"Hi..." I murmured, tracing absent circles on my coffee mug.

"How was your honeymoon, babes...?" she asked, settling into the chair opposite me, curiosity shining in her eyes.

"He... proposed to me..." I confessed quietly, the words tasting strange on my tongue.

"Wow! Lucky you! What did you say-YES or NO?" Her grin was impossible to miss.

And I told her everything. Everything-every little detail that had happened after he proposed, every tremor of fear.

"Oh God, I swear... this girl is completely crazy..." she exclaimed, genuinely shocked, almost flinging her hands up.

"What the hell, Sakshi? What-" I started, confused by her reaction.

"Don't... don't you dare ask what wrong you did?" she interrupted sharply.

Finally, I looked up from my coffee mug, meeting her intense gaze.

"Shree, what's wrong with you? Why are you doing all this?" she asked, her brows furrowed, a mix of concern and disbelief in her voice.

"Sakshi, how can you say that? You know everything..." I tried, my words faltering under the weight of my own confusion.

"Shree, why are you letting your past overshadow your present... and future...?" she groaned, exasperated and desperate.

I opened my mouth to explain, but my phone buzzed, cutting our conversation short. An emergency-again. On my toes, I pushed my thoughts aside and dived back into the day's work.

Finally, the day ended, and it was time to head home. Going back home meant seeing Ansh.

I'm not mentally or physically prepared to tell him... not yet.

But I knew, sooner or later, I'd have to confront him. Some day. Just... not today.

My shift usually ended by 8:30 pm, but today I had stayed on until 11:30 pm. I did it intentionally-to steel myself for the confrontation with my past. I took the last metro home, dragging myself lazily from the station to the Singhania Mansion, the walk feeling longer than usual.

Finally, after almost half an hour, I reached home. A sigh of relief escaped me as I stepped inside-everyone was fast asleep. Quiet. Peaceful.

I made my way to the shower, expecting him to be in the room. But he wasn't there. He must have gone out to the terrace... for some fresh air, I thought.

After a long, scalding shower, I stepped out, feeling slightly lighter but still weighed down by my thoughts. And then I saw him-sleeping soundly. My chest tightened at the sight. Quietly, I went near him and pulled a blanket over his shoulders before slipping out of the room.

I didn't feel like eating, so I headed to the terrace instead. Finding a quiet corner, I settled onto the cold floor. Closing my eyes, I tried desperately to clear my mind. But the memories crept in, relentless, unbidden-the darkest, most painful fragments of my past.

I curled into myself, shivering, as tears slid down my cheeks. I jerked my eyes open, hating the way the memories clawed back into my consciousness. I don't want to relive this... not again...

I got up from the terrace and returned to my room. After what felt like forever, I finally fell asleep.

The next morning was no different from the previous ones. I quickly got ready and headed downstairs. Today, I insisted to Maa and Chachi Maa that I would make breakfast myself. I prepared Methi Parathas-Ansh's favorite-and served breakfast to everyone, him included. His hand brushed close to mine. I pulled my hand back.

I noticed something different in his eyes. It was subtle, but I was not able to recognize it.

I went to the hospital alone. The day was the same-no one exchanged shifts with me. The reason was clear: Sumit Sir and Sakshi had manipulated everyone, ensuring I couldn't swap shifts. And the obvious explanation was that I was married now; I was supposed to spend time with my husband and my new family.

Days flew by like this, and it had been over a week. I was sitting with my coffee again, surviving on the bitter warmth as I tried to keep my spiraling thoughts at bay. Today, I had even exchanged a colleague's shift after my long night duty, but the coffee tasted like poison without speaking to him. I want to talk to him... but how? What will he think? How will he react? Will he... react like my parents did?

"Shree..." I heard Sakshi calling from a distance.

"Shree..." she called again, snapping me out of my whirlwind of thoughts.

"Shree, how many times have I been calling you?" she asked, settling into the chair opposite mine.

"I'm sorry..." I murmured, avoiding her gaze.

"Shree... did you talk to him?" she asked, cutting straight to the point, as if she already knew what I was thinking.

I shook my head in denial.

"But why?" she pressed after a long stare.

"I... I don't know. It's becoming too awkward..." I admitted, my voice trembling slightly.

"Shree, please... please talk to him before..." she paused, searching for the right words.

"Before it's too late..." she continued after a long pause.

"I... I want to do that too, but..." I started, staring at the coffee in my hands, tracing its rim absentmindedly.

"But you're scared... right?" she completed, understanding my fear.

I nodded silently.

"Scared of what, Shree...?" she snapped, frustration and concern mingling in her tone.

"Sakshi, when my parents refused to believe me... how can I expect him to..." I said, gulping down the lump forming in my throat at the memory of those days.

Sakshi rolled her eyes with a sigh but didn't push me further. She let me be.

After lunch, I went to the common room and took a deep breath. I finally decided I had to go home. I'll figure out how to tell them later... but I just need to see them for now. I took a half-day leave and left.

It was around 4 pm when I reached home. A small smile tugged at my lips as I saw the family gathered, enjoying tea.

"Shree, you came back so early? Are you well?" Maa asked, her voice full of concern.

"Yes, Maa. I was tired, so I took a half-day..." I said, settling beside her on the sofa.

"Uff, Sucheta... this is the problem with all moms. All day you were ranting about how Shree didn't come because her shift got extended, blaming her seniors... and now, when she's back, you're bombarding her with questions," Dad said, peeking over his newspaper.

"Just shut up, Rajesh ji... I wasn't talking to you. I was talking to my daughter," Maa shot back, narrowing her eyes.

"Oh God, you people are so cute..." I said, letting out a chuckle.

"And yes, Shree, I forgot to tell you this... the upcoming Monday is Diwali. Shivansh's bua, Manju, and her son Rahul will be coming today," Dad added, setting his newspaper aside.

"That's great, Dad..." I said, smiling quietly. I sat there, quietly admiring my family, but the thoughts gnawed back at my mind relentlessly.

"Shree, go get some rest... you look very tired," Maa said, patting my cheek gently.

I shook my head and ascended the stairs to my room. But even as I lay down, tossing from side to side, the thoughts crept in again and again, refusing to let me be.

💞💞💞💞💞💞

It had been more than a week since we returned from Mumbai, and still, there hadn't been a single face-to-face conversation with Kavya. I never imagined that my proposal could turn my relationship with her completely upside down. What is it that's making her pull away like this? Had I somehow offended her with my feelings? What is it that makes her think she doesn't deserve love?

If she didn't love me, then why had she pulled the blanket over me that night? And why had she made my favorite methi parathas? Why is she doing all this if she doesn't love me? Why, Kavya, why?

With these thoughts swirling in my mind, I rested my head back against the chair, letting out a long, quiet sigh. My thoughts were abruptly interrupted by a knock on the door. I quickly gathered myself, smoothing the tension from my shoulders, and said, "Yes, come in."

My assistant entered the cabin carrying a bunch of files.
"Sir, you've to complete this by EOD. Order from the Home Ministry," he said, placing the files carefully on my desk.

"Okay. I'll call you once I'm done," I replied, taking the files from him.

He gave a small, polite smile before leaving the cabin.

I tried to immerse myself in work, but her words kept swirling relentlessly in my mind, refusing to settle.

Later that evening, as I reached home, I waited for her for dinner, but she was late due to her extended shift at the hospital. From my study window, I saw her arrive. Once she went into her room, I went about preparing coffee like any other day and carried it to the terrace. I waited, hoping she would join me-but she didn't.

After about half an hour, I went back to the room. She wasn't there either. I let out a long, deep breath and lay down on the bed. A few moments later, I heard the familiar jingle of her anklets. She always liked wearing them, ever since our wedding day.

The next morning repeated the same pattern, but I couldn't hold it in anymore. Thinking this over, I pulled out my phone and texted Nikhil.

Me: Are you free today evening?
Nikhil: I'll make myself free. What happened, Shivu?
Me: Let's meet. I'll explain there.
Nikhil: Okay. See you.

I reacted with a thumbs-up emoji and headed into the meeting with the Ministry, trying to focus, though my mind kept drifting back to her.

It was about seven in the evening when the meeting finally ended. I was done with the day at the Home Ministry and headed straight to the café. Nikhil was already there, waiting.

"What happened? Why are you looking so dull?" he asked as soon as he saw me.

"Nothing much. What do you want to have?" I replied, loosening my tie, earning a sharp glare from him.

"Fine, I'll tell... but let's order something first," I said, taking my seat opposite him. He nodded, and once our coffees arrived, I admitted everything-everything that had been going on since I confessed my love to Kavya.

"Did you try talking to her?" he asked, putting down his coffee mug.

"Yes, but she's not even ready to look at me..." I said, as if even meeting her eyes would reveal her to me.

I don't need anything from her. I just want to hear her voice. I'm dying to hear it, and I'd be on my knees for that. I don't care about anything else. The only thing I want is her voice-those childish acts of hers, those small coffee moments, the dinners we had together. That's it.

Shivu? Where are you lost?" Nikhil snapped me back from the whirlwind of my thoughts.

"Nikhil... I want her back," I admitted. "I want my small moments with her back. I want to hear her voice again, every little thing she does that makes my heart flutter. I can't bear this silent treatment." I let out a deep, heavy sigh.

"Calm down, Shivu... everything is going to be alright," Nikhil said gently.

"When, Nikhil? When?" I rubbed my palm over my face, helplessness coursing through me.

"Shivu, you can't lose your patience when it's the one thing you most need. Give her some time," he said, trying to reassure me.

"You're right. I need to hold myself... I don't know what's haunting her to the extent that she thinks she doesn't deserve to be loved," I admitted. I hadn't even taken a sip of my coffee. Coffee felt like venom to me-it was just a reminder of the best times spent with her.

"Now go and get ready for Diwali this Monday. And make sure to buy something for her," he said, finishing his coffee.

"Yes. You're also invited. Maa had specially told me to ask you to come on Diwali evening," I said as I paid the bill.

"Of course. There was no need to say it. Take care, and be relaxed," he said, heading toward his car.

I nodded, and we parted ways, each carrying our own thoughts, but mine were entirely filled with her.

On the way back home, I stopped at the jewellery shop. After an hour of rejecting countless designs, I finally found the emerald set.

"Perfect. Please pack this," I said to the salesperson.

A small smile curved at the corner of my lips just at the thought of seeing her in that set. But will she accept this gift? Will she like it?

With all these thoughts, I entered the gates of the Singhania Mansion. My heart clenched at the thought that I might not get to see her again today either. The only thing keeping me going through these days was hope-that everything would be normal again, and I'd finally hear her voice, see her with a coffee foam mustache.

I inhaled a deep breath, composing myself before stepping inside the house. Bua and Rahul would also be there, and if Bua sensed anything, she would surely create a scene, which could worsen the situation between us. I don't understand why she likes creating scenes... she has done that so many times between Ritu and Chachu Chachi Maa. Luckily, everything always got sorted. And she has this bad habit of surveying every little thing about the ladies in our family. I hope she doesn't do anything like that this time.

My bua is not as good as Nikhil's. His Bua Maa is a goddess, while mine is a devil. I don't even know why she comes every year.

I reached the door and rang the doorbell. After a moment, the door opened-and there she was.

A wave of relief washed over me; just seeing her was enough to push all the annoying thoughts from my mind. Her dark brown eyes met mine after such a long time. But there was something different in them this time. It wasn't the usual spark-it was fear, guilt, and something I couldn't quite decipher.

Author's Note

Happy Belated Diwali, my dewdrops ✨

First of all, sorry for giving this update a little late - I was caught up with my practical exams. And a small sorry in advance too, because from this week onwards, I'll only be able to update once, as my final exams are approaching. 🎓💫

Now to the chapter...
This one carries more silence than words - the kind of silence that screams when love stands still. Shivansh's ache, Kavya's distance... and that quiet hope holding them together, even when everything feels like it's falling apart. Sometimes love is not about being close - it's about waiting, believing, and loving a little harder in the dark. 🌙

My dewdrops, I want you to feel this one - not just read it. Tell me what you think Shivansh should do next. Tell me if you felt Kavya's fear or his pain. I want to know your heart's side of their story. 💭

Don't forget to vote, comment, and share your thoughts below - your words light up my world more than you know. They make this story breathe, chapter after chapter. 💌

With love, coffee warmth, and lavender skies, - lavenderwrites 🌸